Vibing in MY lane

Hey sunnies

I’ve been diving pretty deep with my therapist this year and I’ve honestly learned a lot. One of my biggest takeaways was that because I was so used to always picking up the pieces for any and every problem that arose growing up, I have a tendency to swerve out of my own lane in relationships. (Don’t get me wrong there are pros to growing up in chaos like crisis management and adaptability.) But, I often found, and still find, myself in other people’s stuff. I usually mindlessly convince myself that someone needs my help or that I owe them something but, the reality is that’s their stuff. I thought the situations I found myself in were things that just happened to happen to me. I thought I just happened to be in the right, or wrong, place at the right, or wrong, time. But, I learned that I have the power to change what I am a part of.

My therapist has taught me the power of vibing in my own lane. It’s so much easier said than done. Especially when it comes to old relationships where I am used to being more than I need to be to the person. In some relationships, it’s almost mindless for me to help them. It’s almost unconscious for me to justify to myself, if I don’t help them, no one will. And I’m not talking about proofreading a paper for someone, I’m talking about being a part of some shenanigans the person shouldn’t have gotten themselves in in the first place. Chileeeeee…

I was stuck in traffic on my way to work on I-75 and you know when it seems like the lane next to you is going so much faster so you get over, only to find the lane you were in is now speeding up. Don’t you hate that? Well, I thought to myself, maybe that’s applicable to my own life. Maybe I’m so used to putting out fires that when I see another lane doing and moving, my lack of ability to be still tells me to move over, to set their fire out cause yours are too much. I know I’m not the only one who still struggles in seasons of stillness and just dealing with what you have going on. Then I get over there just to realize if I would’ve stayed in my own lane, I would’ve been okay.

If any of you struggle to stay in your own lane in relationships I recommend boundaries. I recommend learning that it’s okay to say no. It’s okay to not get involved when you see someone else’s problem brewing. And sometimes, when you stay still in your own lane long enough, you just may cruise right into the sunset. I love y’all so deep.

forever blooming,

Mikaela Amira