The Superwoman Complex
There is no problem too big or too small for Superwoman!
Hey Sunflowers,
I hope this finds each of you in good physical health because Chile, Ms.Rona is still alive and well. Today I want to dive into The Super Woman Complex. An idea that I’m beginning to believe black women are born with. The Super Woman Complex is the idea that you can do anything! By anything I mean there is nothing in this life you can’t handle. There is no problem too big or too small for Superwoman. Which can be a wonderful thing. We are super women! But there is a downside that negatively impacts our mental health incredibly.
Although, there is nothing wrong with saving the day every once in a while, we have to remember that being a Superwoman is not conducive to longterm health. Do you ever feel that you can’t ask for help with something? Do you ever feel guilty for having downtime? So much so that you don’t even take it? Well these are the negative effects of being a Superwoman. We never actually take off the suit, we just cover it up with our civilian clothing.
The thing about male superheroes is they never actually save the day alone. They always had a sidekick coming around the corner when things got tough. But Superwoman was holding it down by her lonely and of course, we love to see it! But, what does that do to us in the long run?
We, by we I mean black women, have so many sayings that insinuate that if we need something done we have to do it ourselves. But that isn’t true anymore, it’s time for us to lean on community. Great leaders know how to delegate, so how did we miss that memo? How did we wake up one day feeling like every burden was ours to bear alone? It stems in hurt. It takes one time to depend on someone and they fall through to have that, “if I want it done right I have to be the one to do it” attitude.
Well Sunflowers, I challenge you. I challenge you to acknowledge your Superwoman Complex and actively work around it. This week it’s time to say, “Hey, I would appreciate some help with this.” “Can you hold me accountable to do this?” “Hey actually I can’t get this to you by tonight, is the end of the week okay?” For the sake of our sanity it’s time to start asking for help. It’s time to take downtime. It’s time to say no and be strict with the time we carve out for ourselves.
That doesn’t mean we can’t swoop in and save the day every once in a while but it’s time to make that the exception and stop forcing ourselves to be super hero’s when we’re human. It’s time we stop expecting supernatural powers out of ourselves time and time again because one day we will reach our breaking point and trust me, we all have one.
This, like everything in your mental health journey, won’t be easy at first. You will struggle with not wanting to seem like you can’t handle something or you’re too weak or not smart enough. But this is a muscle we must learn how to flex. I promise you our white male counterparts have no issue saying, “Actually, I’ll be away on vacation that weekend, is it okay to get it to you Monday?” It’s time we prioritize ourselves! PERIOD!
forever blooming,
Mikaela Amira
