Forgiveness…
“Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness. Forgive them because you deserve peace.” -Unknown
This blogpost is going to be a little different because although I love making this a space where you walk away with tangible tools, its time to dive in to a very important phase of dealing with trauma, Forgiveness!
When I was growing up, it was easy to forgive your parents, your aunts/uncles, cousins, even friends. I mean as a child you have all faith that when someone does something and tells you they won’t do it again, they won’t. But as I’ve gotten older it has gotten harder and harder to forgive.
I’m not talking about when someone steps on your shoe in the club forgiveness, I mean when someone wrongs you in a way unimaginable. When it hurts, DEEP! When you can’t breath for a moment because it is no way in hell this is real life. Thats the type of forgiveness I’m talking about. It’s not easy. Sometimes your triggered and you feel the rage running through your veins all over again. Sometimes you see the person you were wronged by and you feel bad for them. Whatever the response, be patient with yourself.
If there is anything you take away from this blog post it’s that forgiveness is a journey and its not linear. Of course I wish I could tell myself “Hey Mikaela, forgive [insert name here]” and it was done. But its never that easy! Its emotionally draining to work to forgive day after day, especially when the person isn’t sorry. Let me say that again, especially when the person isn’t sorry. In my personal experience I’ve found myself needing to release the same hurt over and over. Each time I am triggered I literally say to myself, release. It helps me to calm my physical reaction to being triggered but also a reminder to my spirit to release the hurt and the pain.
Real forgiveness is not easy, but we have to do it. Like the quote explains, forgiveness is not for the other person, its for you! When you’ve found that you have successfully forgiven someone there is a sense of peace that surrounds you. I pray each of your forgiveness journeys are easier than mine. More importantly, I pray that unlocking true forgiveness of others will unlock a new found freedom in you!
forever blooming,
Mikaela Amira
